I’ve been a bit fragmented past few weeks.
But when I think about it, I’ve had spurts of “fragmentation” within the past few years. I guess this is why I’ve resorted to music. I put my thoughts and feelings into crafted songs in hopes that somehow, the gaps and short-comings might sting a little less than they actually do… and appear/convince myself that I’m not as broken as I actually am.
Although some songs might not be identified as 100% autobiographical, each song that I’ve written and/or co-written in my life has some sort of “MP fragment” left in there somewhere - whether they be a lyric, melodic, or chordal line.
So here I am well more than halfway through 2013 (it’s fall for crying out loud!). This year has been the voyage of my 1st full-length album. I know it has taken me a while. For those of you who have followed my career for years, some of you might’ve thought I should’ve released at least 3 LPs instead of my measly 2 EPs and a few singles out on iTunes right now.
In reality… deep down, I wasn’t ready.
Deep down, I needed to be ready to write a song that wasn’t just “crafted nicely” or “melodically cool” or “lyrically clever” or “using chords that’s interesting” - just honest.
So when I decided to record this full-length album and gathered enough courage to do it, I haven’t even written that “honest” song that I wanted to put on this record.
So what did I do?
I walked in Jesse’s studio in San Diego last March. I had the first 2 chords of the song… absolutely no lyric… Jesse and I decided that we should just build this track anyway. I knew how it was going to feel… the “vision” and what it was going to talk about… and what I wanted to communicate overall. I just haven’t started - I just had fragments in my head (there’s a common theme here). I didn’t even have the 1st line. Just “lalala’s” here and there…
Please note, that I’ve NEVER done this in my life. I always came in studios (for my own projects) fully ready with nicely “packaged” songs.
In the middle of recording, I had to rework lyrics as I went. I even went to San Diego for a 2nd trip to re-track my vocals because the first go-around didn’t feel right.
So here is the song and almost a week out on iTunes at this point. It’s not the most “pop” nor is it going to compete anywhere close to Katy Perry’s “Roar” or Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” (to name a few) climbing up the charts right now - because it was never my purpose.
Many have responded well especially because Jeremy's impeccable voice is part of the song… but I felt like I needed to explain myself further because this very song… ABOVE WATER…
…talked about the “letting go” and “taking courage” - the juxtaposed life answer that fighting for life is to have the courage to give up completely.
surrendering = living.
You don’t have to figure it all out. Let people in. Let people love you. Let it all happen.
Bottom line… and as candidly as I can put it…
"Above Water" depicts my struggle (at one point or the other) with…
the doubts. the battle. the triumph. the reversion. to starting over.
there. you. go.
So THANK YOU for loving it - for those of you who do love it.
THANK YOU for just enjoying it - for those of you who don’t quite relate but appreciate the musicality of it.
..because for me personally, the song is a small “landmark” for my journey as an artist… well, more so as a person - really.
You’re part of this. You’re witnessing it.
I have more songs to come. Some are familiar to your ears. Some aren’t.
I’m just thankful - that you’re ready to listen.
so. THANK YOU.
~~~ LYRICS ~~~
bleeding til it hurts
the need to start over again
the stillness with the burn
remembering how to be begin
when will it be my turn
when time and I become friends?
and how will all this work
when you know where I have been?
You see, the fire that was isn’t here
my heart is hanging onto every fear
Singing the words as i try to heal
this dark and deepest part of me
trying to hold on
Keep off the ledge
far from the edge now
wave the white flag
it’s time to back down
wake up and set
to keep your head above water
dive in the sea
where you can be and
swim in the deep
where you and I breathe
wake up and set
to keep your head above water
For all and what its worth
we rose and fell but in the end
we learn from how we were
everyone longs to pretend
drowning in the dark
even when the sun touches our face
reaching for the stars
as we look back in the race
You see, the fire inside disappeared
my heart is always out in the clear
telling myself there’s nothing to fear
when the dark and deepest part of me
is trying to let go
Oh the crashing waves
Bury me til I choose to be brave
- - - -
©2013 kwurke tunes pub (ascap)
P.S. Hugs and love to these guys: Jesse Barrera, Alan Ladan, Danny Morledge, Noah Bartfield, and Jeremy Passion (Manongdo)
I’m sooooooooooooo excited! -mp
FEELS LIKE HOME (clip/preview)
produced by: Jesse Barrera
drums: Danny Morledge
bass: Noah Bartfield
keys: Alan Ladan
(Source: mpolinar / mpolinar)
This was “Shirt The Kids” in NJ this past weekend. It was a blast.
And this particular song is called “Feels Like Home” - and it’s the song I wrote with DRH. yep. :)
I kinda missed a line on the first chorus but hey, its my first time performing the song on stage. It still felt good especially during the end.
Danny Morledge (shaker/tambo) and Bryan Keith (keys)
COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!! COMING SOON!!
"This Road" will be the first single off the new release! EXCITING!
Nov. 25, 2010 - THANKSGIVING DAY!